Hey Steve "I'm Experiencing Boyphases, Not Boyfriends"

Hey Steve, I am a repetitive 21 year old. I never had a boyfriend before? Men and I do talk, they appear to like me. But they never take things to next level. What Should I Do?


All in All, it is not that simple anymore…..


I’ve spent my twenties searching for a boyfriend. The guy who gives who his attention, time, take you on movie dates, skate dates, easy chemistry, and call you everyday. I’ve been looking for someone who actually wants to court. I missed out on dating in high school, when dating was innocent and sincere. After all these years, I am still searching for the sincerity and innocent times with the opposite sex. My only question is do boyfriends exist in your 20’s? Men in their 20’s are more like boyphases instead of boyfriends. You would think teen girls would experience boyphases instead of boyfriends. However, grown women are the ones experiencing boyphases instead of boyfriends. Matter of fact, most men don’t even want to be called a boyfriend anymore, even if they are acting like a boyfriend. Are my views on relationships expired ?

A part of me feels like I missed out on having a boyfriend and my love life is going straight to fianceeville. I am unsuccessfully trying to enjoy the boyphases and fill the void of missing out on the valentine’s flowers, Christmas gifts, birthday dates, and prom dates. My pastor calls women who have boyphases enterprise, budget, and leased cars.i would have to argue ( behalf of terminally single women), booty calls are better than no calls. If he only knew boyphases has been replaced with boyfriends. The only time a man matters to a woman and a woman matters to a man is if she is a potential fiancé. Perhaps, Men have two different sides for women. The same man can be a boy phase to many women and boyfriend/ fiancé to one woman. Boyphases take women out on dates, kiss , hug, sex, and listen to them, and meet their family. The Boyphase present himself as a potential boyfriend. You wait around, because you think he is taking his time and busy, just to find out different. Ironically, Men in this generation actually believe in love at first sight. The man you have waited months for commitment, happens to see a random woman he is unexplainably interested in and rushes to become her official boyfriend and future fiancee.

Should terminally single women start reconstructing the concept of dating according to modern men’s change standards of dating? Personally, I feel unsatisfied with boyphases. The man has only one foot in the door. His other foot is hopping on other women. We are living in perplexing times with this love concept. Would accepting boyphases set us back as single women? All I know, boyphases do not lead to relationships, marriage, or new profound healthy friendships. At the same time, boyphases are the only form of intimacy some of us receive from men. I think we should establish boundaries and rules for our Boyphases, until we are someone’s love at first sight.

Alicia Smith